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In my thirty six years of existence I have taken so much. I have taken resources from our mother planet in such excess that forever will be well acquainted with my refuse.

I have bought and traded and earned and stole and acquired countless things. I have trashed and recycled that much and more packaging, wrapping paper, receipts and bills. It could have all possibly been an entire rain forest at one time. Now the rain forest is demolished and gone forever. It sits buried in landfills with everyone else’s trash.

 

landfill

 

I have acquired more than fits in the space I am allotted at my low mid-level station in the hierarchy of our consumerism-driven pseudo-capitalistic society. I circumnavigate piles while justifying to myself that there is method to madness. There is a place for everything and everything in its place.

Chaos takes hold. It affects my sanity. Stress levels rise. When I am surrounded by everything I get nothing accomplished. The situation takes a physical toll. I want to sleep to avoid the bad feelings. More than likely I will just spend more money and buy more things.

 

stress

 

The cycle must be broken. I must redefine want to no longer need to be need. I must say goodbye to what excess I can by any means.

I feel like I can add value by subtracting things from my possession. I will feed the hungry and cloth the poor by donating things that are in good shape. The same things I used once or twice or possibly not at all.

I will continue to subtract until I have what I am and that’s nothing. Upon achieving my desired state of nothing I will be sublime in my empty space. I will have more full bank accounts and less debt by credit until my time that death comes to acquire me.

 

Halloween-reaper1

 

I will welcome her into my home and not worry about the state it is in because it’s fine. My home will be clean and clear of clutter. I will be resting easy.

By then I will no longer desire the finer things. I will have surrounded myself with family, experiences, and most importantly time.

There will be no pictures, nor souvenirs, nor trinkets. There will be blank wall space and hall space and all space.

 

sitting alone


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