brain machine
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The human brain is an odd thing indeed.

A quick internet search on the phrase how many thoughts per day reveals a number of “experts” stating that human beings have between 18,000 and 70,000 thoughts each time the Earth spins.

Even at the lowest of those estimates that’s a whole lot of thinking.


Nobody is perfect. Not one of us.

It’s a tough pill to swallow, but unfortunately it’s true.

If we were to assess our overall performance in anything, we would have to admit a failure rate of at least one percent. That rate of failure could grow to as high as thirty or fifty percent if we are being truly honest with ourselves.

Acknowledging the previous assessment, let’s estimate at least ten percent of all human thought is utter garbage. This includes negative thinking, nonsense, and any other thoughts our brain produces that we cannot or should not use.

Additionally, at least one or two percent of human thought is deviant. Deviant thoughts include the violent, perverse, dangerous, lewd, or any other similarly destructive types of thinking.


Cue the people who are obviously holier than the rest of us.

There the ones who will never cop to having an impure thought.

Not one…


None whatsoever!


If they are reading this piece I just pictured them naked, smothered in oil, murdering their pet.

It was that easy for me to produce a gutter-worthy one of my daily 18,000-70,000 thoughts.

Those pure people can continue being the self-denying closed-minded angels they are.

But even if they actually do exist, they are certainly the rarest minority.

The rest of the human race is doomed to a lifetime of strange and twisted thoughts popping into our heads when we least expect them to.

deep thought

Again assuming the best case scenario, one percent of human thoughts fall into the sick and twisted category. For the purpose of this piece we will accept the lowest estimate of 18,000 thoughts per person per day. That would mean humans produce at least 180 awful thoughts per day.

This number seems extraordinarily high.

But does it really sound any stranger than us having 12.5 thoughts per minute?

Capable professionals look inwardly and see themselves as phonies. They feel as if they are not as good as their contemporaries…

Then they reject these thoughts and get back to work crushing it.

Kind-hearted people become filled up with rage in an instant of weakness. The most insignificant occurrences or perceived slights cause them to flip like a light-switch. They want to punch, shoot, or stab someone for what amounts to no reason at all once they take a step back and cool off.

I have to admit both happen to me. Sometimes I even produce thoughts of hurting myself, as well as other—for lack of a better term—crazy shit.

But I always shake the thoughts off as quickly as they form.

shake it off

It may sound crazy to read it, but believe me, I’m not.

At least not any crazier than the next man or woman who has a spank bank, or has ever played Marry, Kill, Sleep with.

It’s not any nuttier than someone wanting to see the carnage of a wreck on the other side of the highway as they slowly traverse past.

But, perhaps we’re all a bit loco.

We all may fall on the obsessive compulsive or schizophrenic spectrum, just as we all fall on the autism spectrum if we ever choose to get tested for it.

All humans certainly all have their up and down moments. Clinically, shrinks may decide we’re all bipolar.


Although on the whole we’re improving, no one does an adequate job talking about mental health in our society today.

Unless it’s gossip, or regaling our social networks and anyone else within earshot as to how amazing we are doing, mental health doesn’t enter the discussion.

But what we hear is only 90 percent of the story.

Negative thoughts are real and they happen. So are deranged and demented thoughts.

The difference between a diagnosed schizophrenic and the rest of us is the schizo’s willingness to act on their paranoia.


I know I’m not a bad person for having the thoughts I do, as long as I put the deviant thoughts out of my mind and I do not act on them.

Then again, maybe I am cuckoo.

Maybe I’ve got it all wrong and I’m the only one who ever looks at another man and wonders if I can take him in a fight?

Even if I am crazy my thoughts can’t hurt anyone else. Thoughts are worth nothing if they are not acted upon. Actions are what truly matter.


Edited by Kodid Laraque-Two Elk

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  • Carolyn says:

    Thank you for writing this.