It’s frustrating having someone you are attempting to help refuse your assistance.
Whether delivering kind words, advice based on life experience, or physical aid, some people just don’t want your help. Sometimes they just want to do things for themselves, by themselves.
That pride can be a positive thing. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to overcome barriers and obstacles all on your own, even at the risk of pain, loss, and failure. It’s commendable to build self-reliance. Everyone wants to become a stronger version of themself.
And sometimes that pride may be less about resilience; instead it may just be unadulterated stubbornness.
Some people don’t want your charity. They may misread the intention of your kindness as not being altruistic. The potential cost of your help may not be worth it to them.
It’s best to remember the platinum rule when deciding whether and when to help: Treat others how they want to be treated!
It’s okay for others to not want to take a hand-out or hand up. Respect their wishes. Backing off can also be one of the strongest forms of assistance.
Just stay open to the possibility that one day they may reverse course and ask for your help. . .and as the truly kind and generous person you are, you’ll be ready if they do.
Written by John Andreula
Edited by Kodid Laraque-Two Elk